If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
