dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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