please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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