If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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