no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
