I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
