found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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