The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
