they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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