I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
