I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
