Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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