Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Randomize