I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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