I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
