You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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