Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
