I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
