No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
