my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
