there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
