I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
