so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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