I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
