I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
