Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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