You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
