dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
