I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
