She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
