member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
