No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
well you can't waste a boner
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
