White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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