In America we eat man semen.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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