Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
