So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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