your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
