well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
