Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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