Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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