You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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