....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
