I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
