he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
