Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
