no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just want to make out with him forever
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
