Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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