come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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