But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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