I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
