just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
