I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
