You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
