MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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