where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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