Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
