I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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