Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize