Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
