3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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