I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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