just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize