i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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