Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
